With my husband's decision of having his surgery done in the big city of Milwaukee this was one of the first obstacles that I encountered in the land of wimpdom, that is: Driving the open highway! Fortunately, our son came in from the East Coast to stay with us a few days and do the BIG BAD highway driving. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with this perceived ordeal. Wimpy, huh!
Two days later, after the surgery, our son delivered us back to our home where I took the signs of blood stained clothing and catheters in stride, and used my body strength to assist my husband in and out of a shower. I pumped gas into my car (while being overseen by my sister who had come in from Kansas City). Yes, I know you are not sure you read that correctly...me, not knowing how to put gas into my own vehicle. You'd have to know that my husband has so pampered me over the years that he has always filled my gas tank as though it were a privilege for him.Over time I have lost the desire to both want to drive on the highway or to take the trouble to pump my own gas (especially in the cold winter months).It has made me feel both cherished and wimpy at the same time.
However, now I have had to be strong and supportive in knowing how to care for my recuperating husband. At times, since he has been at home, we have held each other tight, reassured one another and gathered strength from each other. So, in little ways my hubby is now the wimp and I am the strong one. That's the ups and downs of a long and loving relationship. You give up some weaknesses and develop some strengths. Those wedding vows taken so many years ago are taken to task that you're there for the good and bad, the health and the sickness. You've learned to cry in private and grit your teeth while watching someone you love in so much pain. Yet, somehow through it all you give something of yourself to the one you love and it shimmers and vibrates and reaches them and holds them till they get strong again and you come away knowing that wimpiness is somewhat of a gift because it allows the other one to give you the gift of their strength. My strength has always been there, it just sleeps and wakes and rises to the occasion when it needs to.
My husband misses pampering me as he recuperates, but I grow stronger as he gives in to his weakness and allows me to give him some of my own strength. It's a sharing of a caring in a way that suits us both and that allows us to rest from always being strong. Sometimes we just need to lay back, be a wimp and let someone else be the strong one if we need to. In the end wimpiness is just another facet of being human.
