Viewing Postal Patrons from My Car

A heavy, sad feeling comes over me 
As I watch from the comfort of my car.
The snow falls quietly and gently on the sidewalk
Big, happy, fat white flakes of snow.
The lobby of the local post office
is lit by bright fluorescent lights.
I see a mother and daughter walk in
They are hatless, gloveless, shoes thin as moccasins;
Following comes the widow of my old English professor.
She looks sad and forlorn; her eyes looking
Pleading and lost, even after all these years.
With much haste comes a business man
Dressed in warm coat and leather gloves
Concealing his important papers before they get too wet.
A young man scurries past, always in a hurry
Head down, looking neither left or right, just hurry.
Time slips by, the snow keeps falling.
I watch them come and go, a day in many lives.
The snow keeps falling; it is soft, yet heavy enough to erase,
To erase those whom I’ve seen; erasing them into oblivion
It covers their tracks as though they never were;
As though each patron happy, sad, excited or cold had never been,
Covering their tracks as though they had
never existed at all.

copyright 2012 S. Olsen

Sexual Healing

I'm a woman and proud of it. I enjoy sex and I'm proud of that too. I don't see that, that should be a problem for anyone to understand.  (My children are probably shuddering right now!) We are given this gift and are meant to use it, and not abuse it.

With my husband's prostatectomy has come the prospect that the ability to share sexual love may no longer be viable. We haven't gotten to that stage, but it begins to sink in.

Recently, I read a blog written by a woman whose husband had, had prostate surgery. She was so distraught and distressed by the notion that there would no longer be sex that she asked for a divorce. I was shocked and saddened for this woman because it all seemed so shallow. Surely their relationship had not been built solely on sex, had it?

As my husband and I have gotten older we have come to the realization that we are more than two people who are married, live together and also have sex. We are two people who met so many years ago, fell in love, raised a family and have gone through various ups and downs. Sex is a wonderful thing indeed, but it is not the glue that binds us. Our heart felt love, admiration and support is what makes us complete. It is those warm hugs in the dark of night and those tender kisses when we need them most that keeps us knowing that although some part of "us" might have come to an end, that other doors will open and we will be led to a deeper knowledge and understanding about one another. 

Don't get me wrong, we both miss that piece which made us uniquely us. Yet we hold onto the part that made us zone in on each other in the first place. We hold on to the very fabric of our beings which strengthens the love that we have and that has gotten us this far. That love, which goes beyond the physical, not only heals us but keeps us as one. 

Right now, healing is still imminent and we haven't crossed that sexual bridge yet, but we are prepared, inside and out, body and mind, heart and soul. 

When Wimps Become Strong

I admit it, I'm a wimp. I don't think I was always a wimp. I've developed wimpiness over time. But over this last week I've learned the true downside of being a wimp and at the same time I've come to realize that in many ways I am pretty strong.

With my husband's decision of having his surgery done in the big city of Milwaukee this was one of the first obstacles that I encountered in the land of wimpdom, that is: Driving the open highway! Fortunately, our son came in from the East Coast to stay with us a few days and do the BIG BAD highway driving. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with this perceived ordeal. Wimpy, huh!

Two days later, after the surgery, our son delivered us back to our home where I took the signs of blood stained clothing and catheters in stride, and used my body strength to assist my husband in and out of a shower. I pumped gas into my car (while being overseen by my sister who had come in from Kansas City). Yes, I know you are not sure you read that correctly...me, not knowing how to put gas into my own vehicle. You'd have to know that my husband has so pampered me over the years that he has always filled my gas tank as though it were a privilege for him.

Over time I have lost the desire to both want to drive on the highway or to take the trouble to pump my own gas (especially in the cold winter months).It has made me feel both cherished and wimpy at the same time.

However, now I have had to be strong and supportive in knowing how to care for my recuperating husband. At times, since he has been at home, we have held each other tight, reassured one another and gathered strength from each other. So, in little ways my hubby is now the wimp and I am the strong one. That's the ups and downs of a long and loving relationship. You give up some weaknesses and develop some strengths. Those wedding vows taken so many years ago are taken to task that you're there for the good and bad, the health and the sickness. You've learned to cry in private and grit your teeth while watching someone you love in so much pain. Yet, somehow through it all you give something of yourself to the one you love and it shimmers and vibrates and reaches them and holds them till they get strong again and you come away knowing that wimpiness is somewhat of a gift because it allows the other one to give you the gift of their strength. My strength has always been there, it just sleeps and wakes and rises to the occasion when it needs to.

My husband misses pampering me as he recuperates, but I grow stronger as he gives in to his weakness and allows me to give him some of my own strength. It's a sharing of a caring in a way that suits us both and that allows us to rest from always being strong. Sometimes we just need to lay back, be a wimp and let someone else be the strong one if we need to.  In the end wimpiness is just another facet of being human.

The Quiet Before the Storm

It's the time for reflection and retrospection. A time to look at the present, and the past, and then move ahead knowing things are going to be different.

Two important things will happen on November 7, 2012. The President of the United States will be announced and my husband will have his surgery.

I have been learning more about cancer and am hoping and praying for a good outcome. I have also been learning more about the two presidential candidates; I know who my choice is and am hoping for the best in this arena as well. Either way, I know life will continue. Life will go on. 

On this auspicious day, Dr. William See, of the Froedert Medical Center - Cancer section, will do my husband's surgery . He will decide, after cutting my husband open, from navel to pubic bone, which nerves can be salvaged and which must go. He will know how far, if at all, the cancer has introduced itself into my husband's body. I silence myself in prayer that although this is an aggresive cancer, that it will be limited only to the prostrate. This is one of those times when more is NOT better.

I'm leaning on my daughter, my son, and my son-in-law to be there for support and to carry us to the hospital. And, if all goes as planned, my husband will be able to come home a few days later, with catheter and bag. This is the plan. This is the hope.

I look with eagnerness for the election, and, conversely with trepidation to the surgery. I ask my husband, "Are you afraid?" He answers, "Not for me, but for you." My strength wavers, I hold the tears back. He needs me to be strong. I need to be stronger. I need your prayers to hold me up; to hold us up.

There are approxiately three weeks before it happens. Time flies. Time flies, even during this quiet before the storm.

The Big C Gets a BIGGER F!

The BIG C....it's like this HUGE wall that you don't know whether to climb over, crash through or simply stare at.

After his biopsy and 12 small sections were taken it was determined that six of them showed cancer.

My husband has been diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. There it is, in black and white.

They say all men will get prostate cancer sooner or later, we just didn't think we'd be hearing it now.

In the cancer Gleason score of 1-10, 10 being the worst, my husband's score is NINE. Scares the socks off of you when you see it and hear it.

I have selfishly cried so many tears I did not think were possible, I have resigned from my 12 hour a week job because it felt too overwhelming to do more than be at my husband's side; and just very recently we were able to let our youngest grandgirl know about her Papa's illness. She is so very sensitive to so many things and she loves her Papa beyond the  measure of the heart.

Thankfully, my husband's urologist was very upbeat and informative and even gave us a book entitled PROSTATE AND CANCER, the 4th edition, written by Sheldon Marks, MD. It's not an over night read, but it is written for the layman's needs. It describes the various ups and downs of the various options.  It was good to hear my husband's doctor speak so positively about the options available to him, as well as the time my husband has, to choose one procedure over the other. The doctor's confidence lifted a lot of the doom and gloom that has been so pervasive in our lives since my husband has gotten his diagnosis.

What are the options? Surgery or radiation. They each have their upsides and, they each have their icky side effects.

Later in the month we will visit the doctor who will perform the selection of my hubby's choosing and learn more about that option This doctor is located at our local Cancer Center. Never thought I'd be going through those doors.

It still feels difficult when I look at my husband and know he has a tough decision to make. He has always been my hero and has always lived our married life to make our family happy. He has been the seeds of the apple. He is reaping what he has sown; we all love him, and respect him very much. He gives 1,000 percent and yet manages to be gentle and kind.

So, at this time though we do have more information, we still have many things to think about and consider. And, we have God on our side. Thank you to so many of you who pray for him and understand what we are going through. Knowing you are there with prayers and support brings hope and healing as well.

Cancer is a big, scary word...we're going to fight it all the way!

Returning Home

Last week I returned to my roots. I returned to where I had grown up. I returned to Kansas City, Missouri.

So many things had changed, and yet so many things had remained the same. There were new roads, new highways, new ways to get from one point to another. The City seemed crowded and noisy. I had forgotten how long it took to get from one point to another. But we managed. My husband has a much better memory than do I, and although it had been almost 10 years since we had been there, he managed to get us about without too much trouble.

For a price, you too can be Cinderalla!
 

The Kansas City Plaza is still beautiful and is one of the highlights of the city. We stayed in a hotel within walking distance of the Plaza. I don't shop the Plaza, these are stores from which one (with means like mine) should simply window shop. In the evening the Plaza really comes alive. There are street musicians and horse drawn carriages lit up like a little girl's dream of being Cinderella. The streets are brusting with shoppers and young folks seeking excitement and fun.

There are art museums not too far from the plaza although this time we did not visit them. Instead we went to Westport where they were having a street art fair. We ate slices of pizza at one of the pubs and walked many streets with unique artwork on display.

Our reason for this atumnal visit was to celebrate my sister's 60th birthday party which she held in grand style. This was the year my sister and her three friends all turned 60. They chose to celebrate it together. And what a grand celebration it was!

At my sister's party I felt the tug and pull of my heritage. I saw and heard the Mariachi's playing their music and then later saw and did some of the dances that I had not seen for so many years. I also visited my older sister and saw relatives and friends from so far back in my past that I couldn't even recall their names, and yet some remembered me.

Now, I am back home and the weather has turned cold and the wind rattles and whistles. I think about the warm bright lights and busy city. I reminisce with a mixture of sadness and happiness for what once was, and for what is now. It really is true, "you can never go home again."

Who We Carry In our Hearts

Who do we carry in our hearts?

Our hearts are full of love for many. Sometimes we don't even realize that we do until we lose them, never to see them again or hear their voice or have them present in our lives in any way.

Thus became the case yesterday when I learned of the instantaneous death of one of our parish priests. He was killed while riding his bicycle. He loved riding his bike. He was a humorous older, bald little man.

What we liked about him was his easy-going manner. He always told us a joke before Mass, just to make sure we started out with a grin or a grimace of a really "sad" (funny) joke. He liked to tease about his shiny head and how he could almost strike you blind if the lighting was just right.

But, more importantly than those things, was his ability to come across as just a regular guy who happened to love the Lord beyond measure. He wanted to spread the word of his genuine love and  that we had the ability to be more than we thought of ourselves simply because God loves us.

I carried him in my heart and didn't even know it. I cried like a baby when I heard of his passing, and yet I know without a doubt that he is up there, up there with the one he admired and loved the most. He would be telling us that, I know.

He taught us well and will be remembered.

Yes, I carried you in my heart...Godspeed and Rest in Peace Father Vic!

Fr. Vic Capriolo

Breaking Our Fall

4 Season Tree

Though the calendar on the wall doesn't say it is yet Fall, one can sure feel it in the air.

I remember when I was younger I always loved Spring the most. It was vibrant and exciting and fresh and so full of life. It seemed to mimic how I was feeling! As for winter, I will admit, it isn't one of my favorite seasons. But there are absolutely gorgeous winter days when the sky is as blue as an Easter egg and the snow sparkles like silver glitter. Those brisk, refreshing days have a purpose too.

Fall however to me feels softer and and almost gentle...it makes me pensive and more quiet. It's neither too hot, or too cool. It's like the nursery tale, "just right."  I feel like the season is telling me that it's ok to slow down, take my time and relish nature.

It is a special time of the year as trees transform, and their leaves begin to turn a russet gold. It's almost magical how they they can be green one day and over the next few days you can see them change to a different hue and shade. The leaves are at their most beautiful just before they drop off of the trees to be swept away by wind currents, or bagged up and taken away. I guess that's kind of how life is. We start out "green," but as we mature, hopefully we learn more about how we fit into life and learn more of what is expected of us. And, if lucky enough, we reach our golden years to examine more carefully our lives and try to do better before it's time to leave it all behind.

It's good to see the kids getting ready to head off to school. As students, they begin to learn that which they will need to, hopefully, become successful in their future careers. I believe the kind of learning that makes a person successful at human-ness, comes not from what is gleaned in school, but rather from what one learns in life and more improtantly than that, what one leaves behind for those who come after.


Fall, I'm glad to see it return. It's time to take a more leisurely walk without rushing into an air conditioned building to avoid the heat; or to be bundled up because it's so cold. Yes, though each season holds its own magic, I have to say that for me, this time, this softening time of the year, this fall, or autumn, just happens to be my favorite. What's yours?

To Be or Not to Be (Religion & Politics)

Politics and religion. Two things that I have always committed to not verbalizing or writing about publicly because these subjects have a tendency to ignite much, but accomplish little.

It seemed that at one time the Catholic and Protestant religions were the only ones discussed. Over time, however, our world has been cracked open like an oyster, and we now know more about the types of many religions that exist and we have, save for a few extremely radical ones, become more open and accepting to those who worship as they do.

Unfortunately, politics will always remain a slippery slope. I broke my own commitment very recently on Facebook when I commented about presidential candidates. I wish I hadn't. I am not, nor have I ever professed to be, politically savvy. When I have the inclination, I read about candidates, listen to a few debates, but I am not a devout student.  I have never studied things like real estate; financial investments or taxidermy, so therefore I should refrain from making statements. I admit though, I do trust my gut instinct.

At this politically charged time when we are being bombarded by so many political slings and arrows, I am again recommitting myself to staying away from politics. As I have seen so many others do, I  have not, and will not simply regurgitate what I read and then post it as though it were my own. Also, again, as I have seen others do I would not, or have not, ever used the words of others and claimed them as my own. 

Religion and politics, are slippery slopes of which I have seen so many others slide down. Though I have my own feelings and opinions I will keep them within the bounds of my own head and home.  I think that would be politically correct, don't you? ;)

Retirement Roadrash or Re-Invention?: The Big Digs Reasons

Retirement Roadrash or Re-Invention?: The Big Digs Reasons: I have at times, found myself wondering how or why we have such a big house. Our home only houses 2 people, my husband and myself, and is ov...

The Big Digs Reasons

I have at times, found myself wondering how or why we have such a big house. Our home only houses 2 people, my husband and myself, and is over 2,000 square feet. Yet in my life, it has always been that I am given what I need despite my thinking otherwise. For this I have always been thankful. So, this big house hasn't been without its reasons.

We liked this house from the outset. It had a wonderful wooded back yard and a large frontage as well. It was country, yet not too far from the city. When we first moved here there were three of us. Our daughter had already married and had a home of her own, but our son still lived with us. However, shortly after we moved here our son moved out. Despite the size of our home, he felt he wanted to be a homeowner too, and not just a dweller. This left me and my husband with much more space than we really needed.

Over the years, however, our home has been a haven for our family. They have visited, or lived with us for a couple of days, a couple of weeks and even several months. The bigness of the house has given us enough space that, if needed, we could get away and find a niche of our own. And, too, we have had many occasions of celebration at which extended family members come and the room to hold them all is available. When there are only my husband and myself residing here, I can go from the usual rooms (kitchen, living room, et cet), to the more quiet recesses, such as the den or my art room. I revel in the fact that I have as much, or as little, space as I need, or require.

Everything that happens, happens when the time is right;  sometimes there are reasons beyond comprehension as to why things do, or do not, take place. For the most part things fall neatly into place, other times things fall apart. Keeping faith that all will work out as it should, is what makes the difference between ourselves either falling apart or remaining whole and continuing on. May your rooms always be filled with what brings you joy and may you always be given that which you need when you need it the most!

You Just Never Know

You just never know what's going to happen when you're driving. You might be convinced that everything is going to go the way it should, but it can be so full of surprises!

Late last fall, a few months before I retired, I was driving myself home on the same street, at the same time of day as I had for the previous 10 years. As I looked down the street at oncoming traffic, I saw a car swerve in and out of their lane and into mine. I recall thinking to myself, "I'd better keep an eye on that car."  As the car got closer to me, I thought I was in the clear. However, instead of passing me, the young girl who was driving smashed her car into the side of mine. I think she panicked and stepped on the gas instead of the brake. Thank God no one was hurt. Shaken--yes...stirred--yes...but hurt--no.

Yesterday, while driving on Highway 23, a 2 lane highway going west, we encountered a car coming at us from the opposite direction. I quickly put my hand out of the window in a forceful STOP! (I didn't realize that I could stop the weight of a vehicle and the determination of a total stranger with this simple gesture.) The car came to a slow stop, albeit momentarily. The driver was an elderly and confused man. I felt sorry for him. As he kept driving and stopping, I kept using my hand in the STOP! position. He would stop, then drive ahead. Meantime, traffic was collecting behind us and I feared rear end collisions, or worse.  My husband had exited our truck and had rushed over to offer to drive him to safety, but the man refused, while at the same time fiddling with his windshield wipers and radio knobs, as he tried to find reverse gear to back up his car and out of harm's way. My husband did manage to talk him through backing up and getting out of the way. Finally, the police arrived and we were able to continue on our way. This, too, could have been a tragedy. Thankfully, no one was hurt, no vehicles were rear ended, and people behaved civilly. A few drivers even thanked us as they drove by.

One day we will be old, surely, we will get confused at one time or another. Perhaps we, too, will try to drive on the wrong side of the road. I hope there is someone there to guide us if this should happen.  I hope we have the wisdom to realize that, without those special angels that come along when we need them most, things could turn out a whole lot worse. I hope that yesterday we created some good will, or karma, that will bounce back to us and guide us safely home when we need it most. You just never know.

Library Commentary

I work at the library and it can be a funny place. Granted, I only work there three afternoons a week but it seems to be just enough.

The library can be a haven for many people, especially now when it is so incredibly hot and humid that your makeup can melt off, or your hair can get frizzy in seconds. However, just because it is HOT does not preclude one from washing oneself and wearing deodorant!

Yesterday, there was a patron so smelly that he could be detected at least half a room away. When me and my trusty book cart entered the elevator his scent lay heavy in the small box of elevatorness. (I tried to hold my breath for at least one floor.) When I emerged, with a grimace I might add, I could only hope that the next person using it would not think it was me that had left a trail behind!

I had two rather strange things occur to me recently. Strange enough that one of my fellow workers said I should have purchased a lottery ticket.

Let me explain. Because we handle so many items, at times things can get misplaced. We excel at finding them and putting them in right order. In this case I was searching in the adult section for an "I Love Lucy" DVD that was on hold. With no success, I then proceeded to search for a different DVD in the children's section. While in the children's section I found myself at the heels of a patron. I apologized to her for seemingly stalking her. She said it was no problem and, as we were in the DVD section, she pointed to a DVD on the shelf and said, "Shouldn't this be in the adult section?"  You guessed it, IT WAS THE DVD THAT I HAD BEEN SEARCHING FOR in the adult section. Now! I ask you what are the odds of that happening! Out of all of the thousands of items in the library and BAM! there it was. Needless to say, I thanked her PROFUSELY!

Yesterday, this: One of the clerks (I'm a lowly page, clerks outrank me) asked me if I could go outside and upright a sign that had fallen over. I was happy to do so. As I began to go outside I saw, through the glass doors, that a gentleman was walking up to the library...when he reached the point where the sign was laying, without any hesitation, he bent over, uprighted the sign, looked it over, and continued inside. Again, what are the odds that, at this moment all things would align themselves perfectly together, so that this would occur? (A rhetorical question.) I waited until he was inside, where it was cool (of course), and thanked him for doing this. He blinked at me and said, "You're welcome."

Darn! I should have bought a lottery ticket...must be the heat!

Update with No Update...

I apologize to those who have had to ask me what the latest is on the test that my husband had to take. Well, he had a cat scan and it took a week and a half to hear any kind of word from the doctor's office. Apparently, they don't understand what it is like to be sitting on real pins and needles!

The doctor's office called to advise that they could see nothing on the scan, BUT, (that "but" can be so scary!) now they want to proceed to a more invasive type of test. Needless to say my husband is not looking forward to the next test and I believe, if you happen to be a man, you'd probably cringe and inadvertently cross your legs. He'll be doing this test next month.

In the meantime, the weather here has been horrendously HOT. Wisconsin hasn't seen temps in the 100's for over a decade and a half. Not much going on outdoors when it is this hot. Add to that, that we have not had much rain and it makes one wonder why they would  hold the fireworks display as it might have sparked a whole different type of fire works to be displayed!

We had a couple of free movie tickets so we went to see the movie SAVAGES. I admit I had to avert my eyes a few times. It was rather violent and bloody. For being a new release the movie was in one of the smaller theatres and not a lot of patrons were in the seats. But, all in all, I have to say it was a pretty good movie.

Again, thank you for your voices of concern. I'll try and do better in letting you know how things are coming about. Sometimes my head and heart are so removed that writing does not come easy, I think you understand.

The Space Between Breaths

Right now, at this moment in time I feel suspended.

I had a good cry this morning. My husband found me, an earbud in each ear, sitting in a chair, silhouetted by daylight behind me. There I was, in meditation weeping with fear.

I needed to purge the fear that I have been holding within. Fear of the unknown. That's the hardest of all. I am worried.

Why? My husband has to undergo a test on Monday the results of which could change our lives. I am projecting into the future and I need to stop doing that. All I, or we, have is this moment. And right now there is nothing to fear because there is nothing to know.

This is the space between the breaths that keep me alive. Sometimes it's the scariest place to be until more is learned, and then we pass that hurdle and gain some strength for the next time.

I am going to reconoiter, grab life, stand tall and be strong. Who knows, more might be required of me, right now I need to: Breathe, inhale/exhale; breathe.

Sometimes, the Best Day is a Day Doing Nothing!

I had a birthday this week, and it was a wonderful and lovely day.  On Facebook I received many greetings of joy and good will; found a sign in my kitchen window wishing me a happy birthday; and received a couple of cards in the US Mail. Sometimes it seems I have the audacity to think I am alone in the world, sad and shoeless, but nothing could be further from the truth.

I feel loved by family and smiled at by friends. I think, at times, my perceptions must be off. Am I too needy? Do I expect too much? Buddhist teachings say not to have expectations...why? Because you will, in all likelihood, be disappointed. I have tried to temper my expectations of people and of life. I continue to try and accept that which comes, perhaps not gift-wrapped, but comes nonetheless, and which should be accepted good, bad or in between.

Reaching our own set of human goals takes a lifetime of trying.

What's left of my BD cake. YUM!

Today, just a couple of days after my birthday I am reveling in having a day of quiet and a day of doing absolutely nothing. And it has felt deliciously great and I am not feeling any twinge of guilt at all. I've eaten leftover birthday cake; managed to accidentally delete a program off of my old computer; watched a mindless movie: Alien vs Predator (yes, really); read parts from two different books; and have watched the day dwindle away with no expectations of anything other than just being here and alive.

It's time that I understood that not doing anything doesn't lessen the meaning of life. There are those days when our spirit just wants a little time, just a little peace and solitude where we can stand back and let a day be simply that, a day.

Saying Good-bye, See Ya Later Alligator

My son, how do I say good-bye to my son? He's been in my life for 30 years and now he is going off to another part of the country and I know I won't see him much at all. It is now that I am more thankful than ever for Facebook. I was always careful to give him space so that he could grow and learn and be.

As a child he was a bit shy and surprised us all when he went into sales and has been successful in this arena. He was my super-hero at times. He makes me laugh when others cannot. He makes me cry when I least expect it. He is always full of surprises.

My son has grown tall and everyone can tell he is my son because he looks a lot like me. I am proud of him. I am happy for him. It's myself that I am sad for. But parents raise their children  knowing that one day they will see them leave, will see them go and carve out their own destinies.  I hope he takes with him all that we have taught him. I hope he remembers his roots. I hope he is careful.

I know he knows that he is loved.

Rob (with Dad helping drive) off to Maine!

Sooner or later I have to say "good-bye, see ya later alligator." The time has come, the time is now...I just didn't think it would be this hard.

Two Pedis, a Mani and One Man To Go

Seems like May has been a learning month for me. I feel like the butterfly, emerging from the cold winter and into a new spring.

Even though I continue to learn and grow, as I have always strived to do, it doesn't necessarily mean that I let go of all that I have learned and gathered over the years of my lifetime. Determining what to keep and what to let go can be tough to discern. Some things are intertwined. One of the things for me are my workout routines. I used to be able to do really tough workouts, but as my body and limbs begin to age they don't seem to be able to keep up with what my mental attitude keeps telling them that they should be able to do. I have come to the realization that I need to work out at a different pace. I keep that part of me that can move and enjoy the feeling of strength, yet I let go of that almost frenetic pace of working out at an "even if it kills me," rate. (Although having recently seen a photo of Jane Fonda who is much older than am I, I begin to have second thoughts!)

My job as a library page has taught me patience and perseverence. It is taken for granted that books on the shelves are in the right order. But there are worker bees, like me, who are the ones responsible for making sure that each book on our cart, and in our care, is correctly shelved. I have learned to be patient in knowing that each book has its specific and perfect place to be. I have learned perseverence in that sometimes the Dewey Decimal system makes my mind boggle thus making me work slowly going digit-by-digit in order to make sure a book is nested correctly in it's little home. No more the speedy worker! This is good for me. I have a tendency to do all things too quickly.

In May I joined the AARP. I didn't know what the acryonym meant. I have learned that it stands for American Association of Retired People. Yep, that's me..a retired American. Joining the AARP makes me feel a part of something bigger than myself. I feel part of a wall of people that have a respected place in history. We have seen so many changes in our lifetimes. We have seen the emergence of some fantastic technological advances in all areas of life from medicine to cameras, to telephones and communication.

My dental trip in early May went well despite all the fears that I had about going. I have learned that I can get by with only the "laughing gas" and not the numbing needles, at least for this type of work. It turns out I didn't have to have the gum cut in order to get to the cavity under the crown. I braved my way through it with a twinge here and there and then the work was done. I learned that I am braver than I thought I was and I learned that the "laughing gas" really does make me giggle.

Nature taught me a lesson this month as well. It brought a mouse to the interior walls of our house. I have learned that my fear of mice has not lessened in any way, shape or form, despite my son having had a gerbil or two while he was growing up. (I never thought they were adorably cute, like he did!) I have had a fear of mice since a child. I am glad that the neighbors didn't call the police when I was screaming bloody murder as I tried to keep the mouse captive while my hubby raced to the basement to get something to kill it. UGH! My husband asked me, "what is that white stuff around your mouth?"...from fear I think I might have been foaming at the mouth! LITERALLY!

...and Mother's Day. What a most marvelous day it was! On the Saturday before Mom's Day my daughter and one grandgirl came by (the youngest grandgirl was camping) and swept me away to get my choice of a pedicure or a manicure. They both had pedicures while I opted for a manicure. I want to be able to see the gorgeous nails as I move my hands around, most especially now that I work as a page and see my hands in front of me a lot! On the day of, I sang with the choir and then came home to a delicious meal and some great pies for dessert as well as fun and happy conversation. I am blest with much love and for that I am thankful.



Late in the month of May  Donna Summer and Robin Gibb passed away. She was the disco queen of the 1970's, he, one of the Gibb brothers who spiced up the music in Saturday Night Fever and beyond. I know many people hated that era, but I danced through it all, enjoyed it, and had fun. Thanks for the music that gave me happy feet!  RIP Donna Summer and Robin Gibb.

...lastly,  I have learned that my son is taking a job far away;  away from his birth state, away from his family, some friends and his job. He is taking a job transfer.  He was just across town, now he'll be across the country.  I've learned that though my heart and mind will miss him, that this is probably the best for a young man to do. So, I'll bid him adieu and wish him well and hope to hear from, perhaps more often than it seems I have over the last 5 or 6 years. He is a kind, sincere, extremely funny, outgoing guy. I know that I did well raising him and I know that I love him dearly. Good luck and Godspeed my dearest son!

Frayed 'fraid

April is quickly drawing to a close, just like that line in a Simon and Garfunkle song, "April, dash she must." Sadly, it has not been a very nice April. You'd have thought that April would have seen how great March was and tried to outdo her, but alas, April seemed to have petered out and has been sitting on a cold front and won't budge. The winds have been cold and whippy all month long. Surely, May will find a better way to behave. Weather! We can't do a thing about it, just accept it as it is.

In many ways, life is like that too. However, we can change some things in our lives, although not all things. We have to keep an open mind and a good attitude. Darkness has a way of swooping in and hiding us in the shadows at times. We have to give it the boot and let our best selves shine as much as possible. It's too easy to not try to better our mental outlook and to accept the lesser of ourselves. Sometimes one even has to fake it until one begins to feel better. As they say, "fake it, till you make it."

April. What happened in April? Easter felt like it came a bit early. And, in my household,  it was a rather quiet one. But that seemed just fine.

Our Green Bay Packer, Donald Driver, remains a driving force (or should that be a dancing force) on Dancing with the Stars. He must be getting tons of votes from Packer fans. I know one of my grandgirls dials in the maximum number of 4 votes allowed for him.

The month has seen me at my new job. I am called a "Page." Pretty cute considering it's the library. The pay is minimal and one sour note is that I have to pay to go to work. I mean I literally have to pay for my parking spot. Apparently, working only 12 hours doesn't give one the benefit of a free parking stall. I grumble about that, but then I know I only work 12 hours and that, in itself,  is pretty pleasant. The 2 weeks that I've worked there thus far have gone by pretty fast.

Dick Clark died on April 18. He was, in my mind, the epitome of a gentleman. It is sad to think he won't be around to usher in the new year anymore. But he did do a lot in the music world while he was here. We'll miss you Dick Clark! Thanks for all that you did for so many rising music stars.

I received a new sewing machine for a wedding anniversary gift. It's a Singer. And I've managed to thread the needle and fill one bobbin. It's sitting there waiting for me to do something. (It's waiting to sing!)  I'm looking at it and waiting for the desire to sew something to return. I used to sew quite a bit. My sewing muse, along with my guitar muse, my poetry muse, and my painting muse are all quite asleep. Will someone please come and wake them up for me. Time is passing by! And time waits for no one!

I'm living with a cloud of fear over my head until after Weds. May 2. On that date, I have a dental appointment to fix a cavity that decided to descend under a crown, no less. I hate the dentist. Well, not my dentist per se. Let's say I hate going to the dentist!  I'll be taking the gas and getting the site numbed. If they offered to put me to sleep I'd take that too. I'm waiting for it to be a week from today so that I'll know it's a done deal! I'm such a chicken about the dentist!!!! Guess I'm going to have to fake that too!

That's about it for me this month. Nothing real exciting. Sometimes life is like that.

Losing a Friend

I ran into an old friend the other day. She and I had been like sisters many, many years ago.


I hadn't been in town very long when we met where we both worked. She befriended  me and we did just about everything together. We shared deepest secrets, laughed till we cried, shopped till we dropped. We even went on overnight outings with some of her other friends and had tons of fun.


She would drop over and bring Cokes, I would drop over and take Pepsi's. I thought our friendship would last forever. But, suddenly one day she was gone. She just quit calling. She just quit coming over. I was flabbergasted. What had I done wrong??  I was sad beyond words. Though I have never been divorced I think that, that must be what it feels like. I was deeply hurt by the loss.


I tried calling her but she would never return my calls. I tried stopping over, but she was never around. One time I did manage to reach her and I asked her point blank what had changed, what had happened. She laughed me off and said nothing had changed, that we were still friends. When she said this I began to question myself. Was I just imagining things had changed?  But no, I couldn't be. We had a history and we had experience being friends. I knew what she would do and she knew what I would do. We no longer went shopping every Saturday, we no longer brought each other colas and chatted and laughed and made plans. We had been so close we could almost read each others minds. No, I certainly was not imagining it.


So, I gave up.


Over time I gradually got over the loss, but never really made such a close friendship with anyone else again. I don't know if I was leery of getting hurt by someone that I trusted so much and was so open with. Nonetheless, I have seen her over the years and we chat very briefly. Sometimes I wonder how she could have hurt me so deeply, moved on and not even realized it.


I know one of my faults is that I love my friends. I always do my best for them. I try to be there for them and help them. I know there is a line where friendship can be overbearing and I know enough not to cross it.


I have found that online friends are sometimes the same too. One can befriend  you quickly and you begin to trust them, and just as suddenly as they appeared, they disappear. I think that now I have gotten more thick-skinned about losing friends. Still, I wonder why people do this to other people. It is so easy to hurt someone else because one loses interest or finds someone else to befriend that seems more appealing than yourself.


Perhaps it is human nature. Perhaps the way of the world has changed now. It is easy to disregard another by simply ignoring them and sooner or later one will just stop trying. I think it's a sad thing not to value people. I think everyone is precious and worthy of kindness in return to kindness given. I don't take friendships lightly.


I doubt that I am the only one who feels this way, and I doubt that things are ever going to change. I know for myself that I am not going to stop believing in the goodness that we all possess. Yet, I have learned to tread lightly and go forward realizing that if someone is a true friend they will remain through thick and thin. I have a friend who wrote to me recently after I shared the feeling of the loss of a friend. Their note ended, "some of us will always love you...no matter what."   It made me smile and it made me thankful for having someone care enough to  make me feel that I mattered. When we lose someone we begin to think we are not worthy, but we are. We might not be loved or liked by someone that we want to befriend us the way we'd like them to, but it does not lessen the person that we are.


Befriending someone and then losing them teaches us that we are stronger than we think we are. It is not the end of everything, it just might be the beginning of something else, when we least expect it.


Be kind to one another. Sometimes all we have to share with one another is our human kindness.

Returning Half Baked

     Retired, just 3 months. Really? I didn't even get a chance to be bored, and yet the "call of the workplace," was noisy in my ear. Late last month I got a call to ask if I wanted to put in a few hours of work in at my old place. Feeling like it was a good thing I accepted. It was refreshing.

Changing shoes mid-stream...

      It is kind of funny when one works full time. We see it so close that we begin to tire of it being so common in our lives. I suppose that is why employers give employees vacations. It's a chance to renew. Vacations are a good thing, however, vacations don't last all that long and one doesn't really get a chance to relax and see a long period of time stretching ahead. Once we have rested and have had a chance to look around, it seems that we get the feeling that we need to reconnect with the world, or old work friends, or getting out of the house, or just feeling like we make a difference to someone other than ourselves.
     When I went to work after they called me, I had a great experience for half of a day. This week I worked a whole day and at the end of the day I felt exhausted. I know, with certainty,  that I don't want to return to work full time and yet the need to do something outside of "myself" is a strong magnet. I have now accepted part time work, and I mean very part time, as in 12 hours a week to allow me a little time away from home, a few dollars to spend on nonsense and a little more social-ism.


     I don't know if this will feel like a drag to me after a while. Perhaps it might, perhaps it might not. But for now it seems to be what I feel like I want to do. A different place to drive up to and park, a different place to be able to help others, a different set of personalities to learn about, and hopefuly learn from them as well. A difference.


     Sometimes maybe a difference is all we are really looking for. I begin April 16. I think I've sustained a bit of roadrash, and now I'm doing some self healing in this and hoping it's not just an escape, because sooner or later I really will have to hang up my working shoes.


    Maybe this is really a second chance. Life is a funny thing, isn't it!


   This has been my experience....and to think I thought I had it all figured out!

April Foolishness

Just throwing out some things I've been thinking about. Yes, believe it or not...some serious thoughts do cross my mind...



Drink more water...my steam iron takes in more water than I do!

Why is it called dusting when you dust, but when you mop they call it mopping instead of wetting the floor...hmmmm???

I wish I could sleep with one eye closed and one eye open. I like to keep an eye on things, you know.

Do some pigs covet another piggy's tail because it's curlier than their own?

Language is a funny thing like how come they say, "cat got your tongue?" Whoever thought of that? I mean, sayings generally originate from things that actually happened or can happen, for instance, when someone says: "where there's smoke there's fire." I shudder to think that at one point some CAT GOT SOMEONE'S TONGUE!!!!!!!!!!

My sinuses are bothering me and my head feels disconnected...gosh! I hope no one else is wearing my head, they'd be totally confused!

Have you ever noticed that if you have a problem and you are laying in bed thinking about it, that if you lay on one side of your head you come up with something down to earth to fix it, but if you turn over and lay on the other side of your head you think of something far out and creative to solve the problem?!? Try it!  (don't go blaming me if you choose the funky pink carpet over the nice neutral beige one.)

I think I should ask the Sharks in the Shark Tank for $3 billion dollars, and no interest in my company that I will start up, to make an invention that automatically turns cell phones off when people try to text while driving.

Who came up with the idea that April 1st was April Fool's Day?  At some point did a bunch of foolishness occur across the world to cause everyone to suddenly say, "oh my, look at all the fools out there--it must be April fool's day."  Think about that....

Would you be offended if you got an April Fool's Day card, but not a birthday one??

Tides of March

Have you ever played a game on the internet (there are so many to choose from)...and have, in a small way, become addicted to playing it? I fell into that trap very recently. There is a game called Dark Dimensions, it's a Majohng, I know, I know, I spelled it wrong, but you can say it phonetically and know exactly what I mean. Anyway, I need to play this game at least once a day or I feel like something has been left undone. I think I was driven to this when I learned that the Encyclopedia Britannica will no longer be published. I had to turn to something that would take the place of those familiar brown books!

Of course, I am like that with people too. I get addicted to warm, kind, intelligent and funny people. They don't like it when I start following them down the street though, so I have to temper myself and not go chasing after them if I see them out and about..so what if they are driving and I'm on foot. It's a curse, I tell you! It's a curse to be so affectionate to all things.

The month, though usually long, went by speedily. Things happened in my house, new carpet went into two bedrooms. I helped scrape wall paper off of 4 walls. This can be rather therapeutic. If you've ever had a sunburn it's kind of like peeling that dead skin off your arms or your nose...anyway, I also pulled staples out of the floor and emptied closets. I have become very friendly with my thighs now. I never realized how strong they were.

I managed to get a day of work in at my old office. I got a call and I felt kind of like Superwoman, you know, there to save the day and all, but it didn't turn out to be THAT drastic. I didn't have to take my cape out of storage or anything. But I did see many old friends, and got tons of compliments on how great I looked, and that retirement must most definitely be working for me. Well, yes, what can they expect when one does nothing but lay around eating chocolate yogurt and watching Lassie reruns on the tube. Even the mail carrier said I was a "hot" retiree! (And it wasn't even warm outside that day.) I got an unexpected compliment from a Green Bay TV newsman who happened to be in the building that day, doing a story about food service...must have been a slow news day. Somehow in the conversation someone asked him how old he thought I was, and he said 46. Ha! And he said he was good at telling people's ages. (who says you can't trust the media!) Ok, retirement, yes! I highly recommend it!

My son-in-law left for reserves for 6 months. He will be in Germany and away from his two daughters (my grandgirls) and his wife, (my daughter). I am sure we will be seeing a lot more of them now. But I don't mind one bit. I do worry about them missing their dad, and my daughter missing her hubby. I think they do manage to talk at least 2 or 3 times a week. Computers; though they have made us lazier; they have helped a lot in situations such as these. Thank goodness for e-mail too, they don't have to wait for days on end to get correspondence. They are always happy when they open their e-mail boxes and find a note from their daddy and/or husband, whichever the case may be.

I don't know how it was in your neck of the woods during March, but here in what is usually one of the longest and coldest months in Wisconsin, it was gorgeous weather. Girls were out in their shorts and sandals. I was out without a jacket, and wearing my lightweight clothing too. It was a rather magical March. We broke weather records all over the place and no one had to clean up that mess.  March 18 it was 82 warm and balmy degrees! Beat that, why don't you Florida!  Now as the month draws to an end, the ides of March are playing games with us and it has gotten cold again. Not the freeze your butt off kind of cold, but the daffodils have wilted.

The girl who took my job had real road rash. While out motorbiking on one of those magnificent March days I was bragging about; she and her hubby were knocked off their motorcycle by an inattentive driver, and she sustained some nasty road rash and broke a bone in her foot. Their bike was totaled and they don't plan on getting another one. Neither her, or her hubby were wearing a helmet and thankfully they sustained no life-threatening injuries. If you happen to ride a bike, please do us a favor and do wear a helmet!

Ummm, thankfully no bands followed the horses...

That's just about it for March. I wonder what April will bring besides, showers, Easter Day, boiled eggs (for Easter, you know), rabbits (yes, for Easter, you're catching on), greener grass, umbrellas, spring break, due taxes.....oh! I almost forgot, Spring began March 20th....by then it felt like Summer; and St. Patrick's Day came and went with green beer and the Holiday Parade. What a great March it was!!

Merry Month of March?

Well, March came in more like a stampede of elephants than a roaring lion. We were hit with a snowstorm the night before we even turned the calendar to a new month.  The little photo I have posted here is from my front door stoop. A clean leaf on the stoop is being regaled by some icy cold rain and the impending doom of the onslaught of a huge snowstorm. Leap Year Day, what a way to end a day that only comes every four years!

February held a couple of firsts in my life.

I received my first social security check and my first work retirement check. I got warm all over with all that security. Still, I fear spending any of it just yet, as I applied for a less expensive insurance and recently got notified that I was accepted. The acknowlegement did not send me into a spending tizzy, rather I thought I'd do some thinking as to better budgeting and discretionary spending. Those dollars do not stretch all that far!

After visiting the hair salon and looking sharp, as my hairdresser Gina generally makes me look; a gentleman tried to pick me up at the local lumber store. I laughed inwardly, the girl's still "got it" I laughed and mentally thanked Gina all over again. I thought lustily about some of my younger days and the various pick up lines that I have heard over the years. I wonder if guys read books on how to pick up chicks and "aging" women. haha   You know what I hate though?  I hate it when a man bumps into you ON PURPOSE. As though you are too dumb to know that, that is what he is doing. It always seems to  happen when your back is turned. Something about hitting one's backside. Gives them a high and gives me the willies. However, I must admit I did like being kissed on the cheek by a total stranger when out lunching with co-workers on my birthday. He was a nice looking man, and the other ladies tried to tell him it was their collective birthdays as well. He didn't fall for it, he just kissed me(the birthday gal) and left the scene. Sigh.

Staying focused:  On February 3, 2012,  Aaron Rodgers was voted the Most Valuable Player of the Football Season 2011-2012. Can I get a WOOHOO!  Conversely, Whitney Houston died, at age 48 and Davy Jones, died unexpectedly at the young age of 66. I was one of those girls who had, had a teenage crush on the cute little Davy Jones. Gimme a break, he was a good-looking dude and seemed kind and also had a sense of humor. Who can resist those traits!

And now it is March and we wait for spring to come like the doggies who scratch at the back doors hoping their masters hear and let them back in. Today, being March 6, the winds knocked the rest of the snow off of the tree limbs and hastened the roof snow to fall down. The sun was shining brightly and shiny, as an Indian friend of mine used to say. All in all, though March fiercely introduced herself (?),  hopefully April will grace us with warmer weather and gives us the hope that spring will arrive in due time, and at the right and perfect time. Here we are waiting for it. We want to put the snow shovels away and oil up the lawn mower.

 It's always something!

Happiness, It's More Than a Feeling

Since having been retired I have literally found myself understanding what real happiness feels like.

I mean, I know what happiness feels like, but it always seemed that there was always a "reason" to feel happy. Now, at any given moment I get a sense of well being over my self and a rush of feeling a sense of  "HAPPY". I let the feelings wash over me and I let myself be immersed in the lovely feeling of it.

It doesn't have to come rushing in like hot lava or like a merry Christmas. Instead this joy, or happiness, comes in quietly and sits in me as I simply exist.

Also, I have not felt any depression. Having experienced depression in the past I now have more of a chance to fight the feeling if I feel it wanting to begin. In the past if the skies were gray for too many days in a row, I would begin to feel the darkness of self creeping in, now I take the time in the morning, upon waking, to give myself direction in how I can choose to feel happy. The choice was always there, but I was always in a hurry to begin my day. Now, it's more like a meditation upon waking. I lay and listen to my feelings.

The other night I fell asleep to the sound of a far off train whistle and didn't get that wistful feeling of sadness or lonliness. I heard it and went peacefully off to sleep. In the morning after I roused myself out of bed I saw and heard a plane overhead and at the same time saw an eagle in the wind, both soaring. I heard no sound from the eagle but I heard the joy of the overhead plane as it flew overhead, up there, up above the clouds. I watched the eagle fly in the currents of the winds and felt such a joy in my spirit.

Too, I have been thinking of all of the various sounds in our lives that sometimes make us remember the past, and I begin to realize that some of the things that I am hearing now are becoming what will, in my future, become my memories; new memories. I like to hear glasses clinkiing, and children at play, I like to hear people laughing, and pleasant music; I like the sound of the light breezes in the leaves of the trees, or if by the water, how it laps against the shore. There are so many joyful sounds in our lives.

There are times when I just listen to my breathing and feel my heart beating and am thankful for these, seemingly simple, yet life sustaining things and know that this joy that I have been feeling, as of late, is not to be taken for granted. I am taking more time to listen, I am taking more time to listen to the sounds of happiness and joy. It abounds, I just have to be quiet and hear it.

It's Getting Serious Now

Artwork by Socorro

I paid my first insurance payments this week and the sheer magnitude of the sum made me think seriously about life.

After watching Dr. Phil the other day I came to the clear knowledge that evil really does exist in this world. I watched how that young woman, now age 18, had been locked in a closet from age 2-8 by her maternal mother and step-dad. She was only let out to be used for sex, not only by her so-called parents but by other people that they would bring home. And yet, she managed to survive. As one of the psychologists said about her, "she healed herself."  After being found, the young lady had to undergo many surgeries to fix her internal female organs, as well as throat surgeries for trying to eat the plastic bowl and the wood from the door of the closet that held her captive. She survived so many horrors that I worry about her.  I woke up praying for her this morning and hope that she continues to thrive....and yes her parents have been sent to jail, each receiving life sentences.

I think about Whitney Houston who had the voice of an angel, but was so overwhelmed by too much fame, much too fast that it somehow ruined her and eventually took her life. I enjoyed her music, but never really "admired"  her as a person. I believe that we make choices, though tough as it may be, we make the choices that create who we are and continue to be. I hope she is in heaven and singing with the angels, and as a friend said, "I'm sure the angels are all moving over to make room for one of their own."  A woman with an angel's voice. A woman who could have lived on to make more music, is now gone. Rest in peace Whitney Houston.

I think about the e-mail that I received from a friend, and after opening it up seeing an image of topless African women doing what they do in Africa...dance. And the caption? The caption said, "Do you know what this is? It's Michelle Obama at her high school reunion." I felt so violated and angry. I know that racism and prejudice are alive and kicking and it embarrasses me to know that a friend would think I would want to see such an image.

Then I think about myself. The art work you see above was created by me several years ago. Yet, I quit painting. I take my gift for granted. My muse seems to be doing a Rip Van Winkle nap and I am finding it hard to be motivated or inspired to paint again. There is much I want to do, but it seems I am now taking it way too easy, simply because I can, because I am retired and think I have all the time in the world. I think my muse is slowly waking up and when she does I am going to grab her with much gusto and try and keep her near. I don't want to have that regret of having a gift and letting it die on the vine. I don't want to have that regret of having lived, but not living.

...and with that being said, it's time to go and work out and begin to begin!

I'm Soooo Techhie (or how I finally got it right!)

I am declaring myself a true techhie now. I mean, I really think I deserve to call myself that because, come on, I've FINALLY, after almost a year, I have finally learned to sync my Nook (make that my COLOR Nook) with the Public Library System.

You know what that means, right? Ahem, it means that now I don't have to drive down to the public library to check books out. Let's say the weather is bad, and since I live out of town, if I wanted to go browsing the shelves of the library, I'd have to throw on one of my coats ..if it's winter (I'm a clothes horse, I have several to choose from); I'd have to start up the car and drive out in the cold and into the city, park, pay the parking meter before I'd even get to the book shelves to see what books might be available.

Soooo, now I can just log into the library website, see what's available in e-books (that means electronic books, heehee); and if one catches my interest I can electronically check one out, connect my Nook to the computer, and viola' it goes into my Nook (my COLOR Nook).

It took me a long time to figure out how to do this. I even had to take the "Learn How to Check Out Books Electronically" class that they offered at the Library. Even after the class I couldn't get it to work because I was working and I was always in a hurry and didn't want to devote the time it took to figure it all out. Since I've retired, I've taken that little class (again), and finally took the time to think it all through so that I was able to make them, the Nook and the Library, "like" each other. Soooo, yes, now they REALLY like each other and I can check books out at whim.

Just the other day one of my Facebook friends asked me if I had a Nook so that we could be " Nook friends." This opens another whole door of books. Any books that she or I have read, and bought and that we have stored on our Nooks can be shared with her or other Nook friends. SMILE!  I like my little color Nook, it even lets me read my e-mail and browse the internet, and it has a place for an SD card!

I'm feeling pretty confident now...even though my 12-year-old granddaughter had synced her Nook to the Library about a year prior to my having done it! (Yeah, I know...but she went through it so fast that I just pretended to know what she was talking about. You didn't know that I was an actress too?!?)

One Month Done

January 2012, oh January 2012. Was here and gone.

Holy Buckets (!) can you believe it, January 2012 done, over and out.

What kind of January was it? Here in Wisconsin it was a winter worth bragging about. We had mild temps with some days reaching near 50!

Spring begins in March and if we can hold onto these milder days, hopefully we can swing right into a super spring! One of my facebook friends loves the snow and she bemoans each winter day that no snow falls. To each their own, I say. I'll take this temperate winter any year Ma Nature wants to give it to us.

I made it over that gigantic obstacle called HEALTH INSURANCE!!!  Though it's a whopping amount, closer to $700 per month I am assured of good coverage, though I rarely, if ever, go to see her (her, meaning the doctor). I try to stay clear of her, and I'm sure she doesn't take it personally, or  minds that I rarely go and visit. Hmm, what a way to make a living. Having patrons you hope you don't see too much (and vice versa!).

On another note, and I'm sure a sour note at that, in some people's opinion; enough signatures were collected State-wide to trigger a recall of our Governor Scott Walker. Not my favorite politician, of that you can rest assured.

Gabby Gifford resigned her position in Congress. I, as I know so many others do as well, wish her Godspeed and a continued recovery.

I think, now that I have some experience in this retirement area (ahem, one month); I think I am in need of scheduling my life. Otherwise I go nilly-willly throughout each day not accomplishing much of anything. But... (don't you love it when someone says, "but," you know there's gonna be an exception to what was just said prior to the "but," well you're right!)... yesterday I did help paint the basement bathroom and did the treadmill for 40 mintues and painted a bit.

I still think I need a better schedule to, well, to keep me on schedule!

Perhaps a day of each isn't a bad. Perhaps I can have days where I can follow my schedule and days when I can say, "heck, no!" to that. I think that just might be the answer! Otherwise, there's no fun in being free of daily drudgery?!?

What do you think? Do you think human beings need to have schedules???

A Day Without Dress

Yeah, I have a closet full of clothes. Way too many clothes and shoes to boot, or should that be and shoes to boots! I have a lot of boots as well.
Clothes horse, that's me. Before I retired someone asked me what I was going to do with all my "pretty dresses."  I said I was going to be like June Cleaver and wear them around the house, including my pearls. Yes, I have pearls too. What can I say, I've always liked dressing up.

Now, here I am all retired and sometimes wearing my PJ's until late morning before changing into my "uniform." Wondering what my uniform is? Pair of jeans, or cords, and a turtleneck and inside jacket.

I used to love dressing up when I went to work. I considered it one of my own perks to me. Now, I have to learn to dress for being at home. I don't want to become one of those people that wear the same thing day in and day out. So, I will begin wearing my nice sweaters and slacks around the house when I don't plan on doing any "dirty work."  You might be thinking that's crazy talk, that I should save my good clothes for "events." However, events are few and far between, and styles change and I would like to wear out some of these clothes before they actually go out of style.

As for my shoes and my boots. Well, right now, since it's winter and all, the boots are coming in pretty handy, however, my feet are not interested in being stuffed into heels anymore, some of those might be going to charity. I'll keep a couple of black pairs of heels, just in case an "event"worth dressing up for happens to come along.

 Otherwise, if you happen to see me around town and I am in my  jeans and turtleneck, just know that I didn't consider grocery shopping a major event in my life, and I won't be sporting pearls or heels!